Autumn leaves

Autumn has been her favorite, yellow orange red colors of the trees, rustling and smell of dried leaves. She used to love walking on dry, crispy leaves and enjoyed the sound it made. she felt disappointed if any leaves refused to make a sound, then she would jump on the next leaf forcefully to hear that sound.

But this autumn has been silent as she closed the window as she felt the shiver down the spine, yes its getting cold, winter is around the corner. she looked at the Pear tree in front of her home and just heard the giggling of a couple they were hurrying to their home with grocery shopping

And a memory hit her She had put her hand under his jacket she was feeling cold, he laughed “what are you doing”?

He removed his hand and she said in her baby voice, “I, M feeling cold “. He chuckled “ we are just around the corner baby”. and held her tightly “ wow your hand is too warm, then why do you feel cold, ” she said nothing, just laughed I didn’t say that I wanted a reason to touch him intimately but she blushed and looking at her red face He laughed ha ha, “ you naughty girl, you know I read somewhere that those who have warm hands are very loyal and trustworthy . are you”? He looked into her eyes. her heart melted “ what you think “? he embraced her tightly and said “ I love you”

Suddenly the window opened with a thud there was a strong breeze and she came to the present and she realised that how she couldn't see that His hands were cold very cold .

the undesired love

They just met each other unexpectedly both from different background ,different culture different ideology the only common thing between them was their broken heart . He came near her and said "Hello, You seem lonely in this party". She smiled and looked at him and said " Yes , usually I don't go as I feel lonely in crowd"
he laughed ha ha U must be a book person .. and she laughed back "ohh yeah , so u know it'.
'And that was the moment as soon as she met his eyes for the first time her heart melted she knew she is going to do another mistake but she knew it will happens.
They met over Tea , it was decided she had to go for lunch but their talk ended with evening Tea she was flying back the same evening but she knew she is leaving her heart behind..
No one knows how one falls in love or how some one feels that connection , no one knows it many philosopher, Psychologist and scientist have tried to explained. and they put blamed on madness, hormones, loneliness .
Can one fall in love knowing very well it will never lead to anything, it will never last...Yes she said to her self she had fallen in love knowingly she wants to heal Him and she knew in response she is going to hurt herself again.

A silent man

He just stared at the roof of the hospital, he was feeling much better now and he expected to return home tomorrow morning so many unfinished works and he wanted to finish it before any serious thing happens to him. he can't leave his family alone without any source of income.
Since childhood, he has been a family man he looked after his grandmother and used to love spending time with her instead of playing out with his friends.
His mother always told him he was the son and he has to look after his family. He always felt proud to be a man and pride to be bale to serve his family
He married a nice wife she was loving and caring and looked after the family well. soon he got three children, two sons and a Daughter.
"Listen, I want my children to learn in good school". " yes, Dear even I dream so my sons will be engineer a daughter should be a Dr" Dream of all Indian family. he worked hard day a night took a part time job too, so that his family should be content, then his mother got sick very sick. Once she called him to his bed and said: You have been a nice song, and looked after us well, I am thankful to God" and he thought this was his real earnings
since last few days he was not feeling well and he thought he should take a day off, but as soon as she got up his wife said "Listen Our daughter's marriage is coming near, I need some money to buy some Gold for her " and he just thought he will be taking some days off for marriage next week he can't afford to take off now
That day he was again not feeling well and he thought its almost a month he should go to the Dr but Doctors have become too expensive, his one son was working as an intern in the hospital, he is a Dr now he wanted to do MD and he asked him to continue his study his another Son was in Hostels he was the naughtiest of all but anyhow he got admission in nice college he wanted to be an accountant. he was content with his life he had served his family well he has been a provider to his family, but this pain in the chest has been bothering him since last few days he blamed it to acidity and stress but today he thougt he should get it checked. But he had to send money to his son for his fees he got up from his bed to get ready, he was confused go to hospital for checkup or go to the office any way he will be retired n few months why to take off and get some salary cut. he got up to go the bathroom and fell on the floor.
he opened his eyes in the hospital his wife and his nephew was the their his wife started crying. " You are so selfish, You wanted to die over me " and that was a big blow to him He selfish? whole life he spent for the family and he is selfish? and he still couldn't answer it

Thinking about you
When we were in love I awake in night
Thinking about our love
Smiling
thinking about you
feeling you near me
your smell 
your breath
your touch
your kisses

When you went far away
I kept awake in night
Thinking about you
with pain clutching my heart
 waiting for you to be near me

Now I know I have lost you completely
Still I keep awake thinking about you
 how and why
was my love not true?
was  my love not enough?


My heart is consistent
It just think about you
Has never learn  anything else
it just know thinking about you

my freedom

As the Night goes longer so does my worried

Looking out a window

A sparrow singing a song

My heart  skip a beat

I have never  sang a song

I worry will I ever be able to sing one?

I walk towards my fish bowl

A gold fish dancing  in the water

And I just realized

I have never dance

I worry

Will I ever be able to dance?

Oooh  all my life I just kept worrying

whether I will be able to ….

The I just did some thing

I open the door and went out

Removed my shoes

And felt the soft grass on my sole

And then

I just dance  singing loudly <3

fodder for my soul

Why should I be scared of pain?

 Why should I be scared of tears?

Why should I be scared of a broken heart? Why should I be scared of sleepless nights? Let my wounds be opened skin by skin

Let the pain grip me

Let loneliness engulfed me

 Let the solitude cover me completely,

And Then

I will rise again with my broken heart

Filled with love,

my eyes Compassionate with tears.

My soul fill with hope

I will make this  pain fodder for my soul.